


Snow

by Aryagraceling



Series: Catharsis [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Afterlife, Haku's Death, Heavy Angst, Land of Waves Arc, M/M, Reunion, Zabuza's death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-12
Updated: 2018-06-12
Packaged: 2019-05-21 05:16:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14909051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryagraceling/pseuds/Aryagraceling
Summary: Zabuza's final moments and beyond.





	Snow

Fabric shreds as more weapons pierce my body. I don’t care. The only thing I see, the only thing I feel, is loss. Blood red, bitter as the herbs he’d force me to eat, sharp as my blade that ripped through his stomach, electric as the bastard’s lightning blade-- _ loss.  _

The words of the blond pour over me and wrench a cry from my spent lungs. How the boy loved me, adored me, worshipped me. And I couldn’t save him. My limbs tremble as I lurch toward his body, sprawled obscenely on the bridge like some sort of ordinary corpse-- _ Haku.  _

__ Blood and senbon litter the ground in stark contrast to how the boy wished to live, at direct odds with what I wanted. What I  _ needed.  _ Need. Such a stupid thing, looking at his now sightless eyes. To the bitter end, he was a weapon.  _ And I, unworthy of wielding him.  _

Kunai jut from my arms, killing any chance I have of escape, of healing.  _ No jutsu, no life.  _ I cough, harsh and wet, and my eyes water as my blood splatters the stone of the bridge.  _ ‘You’re too expensive, Zabuza. Demonic as a wet kitten.’  _ Gato’s words echo in my mind as I look at Haku’s battered cheek, kicked in by the piece of shit who’s killed me.  _ ‘He wanted only for your dream to come true.’  _

All our years together, all the trials, soft moments, and the love-- _ gods,  _ the love I felt for the boy--disappeared, gone in the instant Kakashi cut through him. My vision begins to grey as I take one more step, and my knees hit the bridge when one final sword flies through me.  _ One last time-- _

My arm stretches in front of me as I fall forward, Haku’s ghost painting the sky in front of me a brilliant orange, he himself resplendent in the pink yukata he was so fond of. “Haku--” I rasp. One inch, then two I crawl forward, trailing blood over the grey stone. Pain lances through every part of me and I stop, drinking in the sight of him at peace, smiling down on me. “So this is...goodbye...at last.” Breath drags ragged on the inhale as I stammer out my final words. “Not once did I ever thank you, Haku.”

Men shuffle behind me and I can hear the Copy-nin telling them to step back, that I’m not worth it. I’ve never been more grateful to hear those words. Haku’s ghost extends a hand, welcoming me to the light, to him, and my head hits the bridge.  _ Unworthy.  _ “F--for--” My heartbeat is slowing, I can feel it. Blood runs sluggishly down my back and out of my mouth. “Forgive me...for...that.”

Consciousness fades in and out for an eternity while the Leaf shinobi take care of Gato’s thugs, and the only thing I want is to slip into the hell I know awaits me but I can’t. Not yet. Not without him. Not without saying goodbye. Villagers rush past me screaming about victory, but there’s been no victory here. Not for me. Footsteps approach my face and suddenly Kakashi’s standing over me. “Sounds like it’s over,” I whisper.

“Yeah,” Kakashi mutters.

“Kakashi?” Blood rushes in my ears with the effort of speaking around the swords embedded in my lungs and I spit red onto the bridge. “I have...a...favor to...ask.” He has no reason to deny me now as I lay broken and dying.

“What is it?”

“Take me...to him,” I say. “Before I..go...need to see him--” Kakashi kneels beside me, covering the Sharingan, already nodding. “One last time.” 

“Sure,” Kakashi says. More blood fills my mouth as one by one, he slides the weapons out of my useless body. I groan long and low when he slides strong arms under my knees and back, lifting me. My head lolls back and I see him once more--the spirit of my companion, this time in snowflakes falling gently from the sky. The villagers murmur about how strange it is, snow in the summer, but I know. I  _ know  _ it’s Haku, and the barest hint of a smile graces my lips at his gesture, fading at the thought that Haku is weeping for me. 

_ Haku… _ Bruises bloom on his face and blood stains his clothes, split by the lightning blade. I cough once more, red dots adding to the abhorrent painting that is Haku’s corpse and I wince. “Thank you, Kakashi,” I whisper as he stands and leaves us, leaves my weapon and I alone. My head falls to the side and I want to scream at the way Haku’s eyes have closed, curse at the sky that I’ll never see them again. “You were always at my side,” I say. Snow melts on my face and melds with the tear that slips over the bridge of my nose. “The least I can do is be beside you at the end.”  _ Gods, I’m so sorry, Haku.  _

All strength I’ve got left in me goes to my hand, fingers twitching as I move my arm just enough to grip his soft and rapidly cooling hand. “I know it cannot be, but I wish--” A shuddering gasp leaves me as I trail my hand up his arm, wandering up his long, silky hair. “I wish I could go to where you have gone.”  _ Demon. A different hell awaits me.  _ “How I wish I could join you there, Haku…”  _ All these years you were with me and now at the end, the only thing I want is years more. Forever, Haku. Take me with you-- _

__ Sun breaks through the clouds and lights up Haku’s face in my swimming vision, turning the pale of his skin into porcelain, pure as the driven snow from which he came. I swear I can see a tear slip down his cheek in the last seconds before I lose all feeling and sight, slipping down into the depths of eternity.

 

**

 

_ “Zabuzaaaa,”  _ a voice hisses from the mist. I stand, flexing my limbs and rejoicing in the fact there’s no aches. “ _ Zabuzaaa,”  _ it says again. Immediately, my hand goes to my back and I panic when the handle of my sword isn’t there. “It’s okay, sir,” the voice says cheerily.  _ Haku? _

I drop into a defensive stance as the mist begins to swirl around me, some unknown body weaving patterns through the clouds. I think I see a flash of pink, hear a light chuckle. “Quit fucking taunting me,” I growl. “Haku’s gone. Get to torturing me. I’m ready.” 

“So sure about that?” the demon asks. A burst of light appears behind me and I freeze, unwilling to lose any possible connection I have to the boy.  _ No, I won’t go. I won’t-- _ I grunt as I’m pulled backward toward the light, a vague pink shape hiding in the fog ahead of me.

“No! Haku--” My body twists in this  _ thing’s  _ grip, needing to be nearer to the figure at all costs. Snow begins to drift down in a mockery of the boy’s final moments and I growl, teeth ripping into my lip as I struggle harder. “HAKU!”

His voice surrounds me. “Zabuza,” he says softly. “Stop fighting, Zabuza.” 

“Not gonna lose you again,” I insist. 

A mockery of his laugh sounds again and I strike behind me, hoping to catch the demon dragging me back. “You never did, sir.”

“Fuck you and your mind tricks. Of course I did. Lost him and he didn’t even hear that I’m sorry for fucking everything,” I say. “Let me have him! For a few minutes at least, gods, please.” The light brightens until I can barely see my hands in front of my face and a tear slips down my cheek at the realization that the figure has disappeared and I’ve lost him once more. “Please.” My voice cracks as my heart breaks once again.

“Look,” the demon says. A hand travels to my neck and I flinch at the touch. It reminds me of the way his hand hung limp in mine at the end, cool and soft. “Zabuza, look.” The light dies to a normal glow as I turn, hand over my eyes, not wanting to see the twisted face of whatever demon awaits me. The hand tugs my arm away and rubs a gentle circle on the back of my hand. “I do, Zabuza. I forgive you.”

My eyes burst open to see pale, sandaled feet below me. “Ha--Haku?” I ask, gaze traveling up thin legs, pink fabric, long hair to  _ his  _ face.  _ Haku.  _ “What sort of--”

“You came,” he says, eyes closing as his face splits in a grin. “I’m so happy you made it.”

I sink to my knees, arms flying around Haku’s waist as I bury my face in his soft stomach.  _ Even if for a minute.  _ “You’re--here? I don’t--I don’t understand,” I say softly. My body shakes with all the emotions running amok. Haku’s hand twists in my hair, pulling my face away to look up at him, and I stand quickly to embrace him. “Haku. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whisper as we sway in the light.

“It’s okay, Zabuza,” Haku says. His hands tug me closer and I sigh deeply as I lay my chin on his hair. “You’re here. That’s all that matter now. You’re here.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback via kudos and comments encouraged and greatly appreciated! You can also let me know your thoughts via [Tumblr](https://sparkswithyou.tumblr.com), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/AryaGrace4), or [Discord](https://discord.gg/sf4E5Up).


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